I Had a Dream

I had a dream.

No, really. It was a dream.

Well, sort of.

I was in bed anyway, and I was supposed to be sleeping, but because of this wonderful, life-stopping illness I've been enjoying for the past few days I was hacking and coughing while closing my eyes and praying that I could sleep.

But then... there was the dream.

Or was it a dream? (OK, OK, I told you I've been sick. Some people would undoubtedly say for a very long time, after reading this post!)

I had apparently been elected to Congress, and was making my very first floor speech. Let's just say if ol' Dale what's-his-name who wrote "How to Win Friends and Influence People" were still alive, he might be asking to provide me with a few pointers.

I won't bore you with the whole thing (not that I can remember it anyway... but I never remember my dreams, so this is quite remarkable that I'm remembering any of it... if it was a dream... Ooooh... back to the story)

I said something like:

In my oath of office, I promised to protect and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. From what I've seen over the past few decades, apparently I've taken an oath to defend the country against most of you! Yes, you, and all your little lobbyist friends too, Toto. (Hey, it was a dream... don't accuse me of plagiarism... or was it a dream?)

I said, while I would like to be friends with everyone in the room, given my oath, and my duty to the people of this country, the only ones in the room who deserve my friendship are those who actually support the Constitution.

Since that eliminates about 433 of us (you can breathe easy, Ron Paul), that means if the Founding Fathers could rise from the grave today and give Congress what it deserves they would probably bestow each of you with a little gift; a small token of their esteem for the way you've ruined the Great Experiment in Liberty.

What kind of tiny remembrance, you might be wondering: A musket-ball between the eyes!

OK, enough of the dream (if it was a dream), I think you get the picture.

I do think it's high time the citizens of this country quit playing buddy-buddy with those who are destroying what was set up to be the greatest, most prosperous land on earth.

If this were France, I would vote Henry Paulson--the traitor-in-chief--as first in line to meet Lady Blade. Next, each and every member of Congress who voted to steal the People's money to bail out the richest, most vile scoundrels who have cursed the ground of this once free land.

Now that the bailouts have begun, there will be no end to the madness. And now that they've begun--if the country survives this round of economic collapse--we have ensured that it will happen again, because we've sought to remove the pain of criminality and stupidity, which should never be removed for the sake of people learning what not to do.

We are victims of men practicing "Economic Universalism."

Just as so many have attempted to deny the reality of Hell, for their own treasonous deeds against the Creator and Giver of life, so we attempt to forestall and/or eliminate pain for those who will not work (What do you mean the government doesn't owe me a check for existing?), those who will not follow directions (Gee, hot coffee is hot?!? Who woulda known?), and those whose economic understanding is beneath the level of a turnip (You mean deficits do matter, and bills have to be paid back someday? C'mon, if we throw enough trillions at this thing we can whip it!)

Believers in Economic Universalism are destined for a foretaste of the pain that awaits followers of Metaphysical Universalism: 404 - Sorry, the destination you planned to reach does not exist.

Do not pass go.

Do not collect $200 (Oh, I'm sorry... with the inflation that's now in the pipeline Monopoly will have to raise that to $20,000).

Here's your musket-ball.

Next.

But, hey, it's only a dream. Right?

Someone please let me know when it's safe to wake up.