Ski Instructor Bailout

My fellow ski instructors and I are planning to make a case for a ski instructors' bailout from the federal government. We think our case is very solid. We provide an essential public service and help to stimulate the economy. Our studies show that the skiing business affects 1 in every 15 jobs in the United States, and that there could be massive increases in unemployment if we go under. And we'll all have to go on welfare if we don't get some money soon. In consideration for a bailout, we are willing to engage in some trail maintenance in order to improve the nation's infrastructure, and to accept pension payments equal to a mere half pay after 20 years. (We'll go to 21 years if pushed.) Please support our position. If we get a bailout, we'll publish newspaper ads saying "thank you, America," just like Chrysler did.